I took the bus along with the kids and reached school. My feet never stopped shaking due to the excitement and fear of unfathomable events that were supposed to unfold today as per I had planned them. I couldn’t focus on algebra or even poetry or the French Revolution. I was getting more and more restless with each passing minute that bought us closer to end of school for the day. My plans were big and they had to be executed in today’s time so as to yield positive results.
When the bell rang for the recess, I along with the two kids ate my lunch in silence. They kept asking me about my uncanny behaviour but all I could respond with were small incomplete nods. The big guy sensed something unusual about me but the little girl, who had just started with school a year back had full faith in me and hence, I was resolute.
2 hour later, the time was here. My heart was roaring in my chest, no, in my mouth. I was about to do it. “Yes, I will do it”, I whispered under my breath just to assure myself of the pertinence of my plan. However, it seemed quite dangerous to me now.
Collecting all the strength and courage, I went up to the big guy and asked him to accompany me to the Baker’s castle before we head back home. He was irritated and had already sensed some danger and refused to do so, gingerly. My plan was failing, how could he refuse? Did he forget that he was living on behest of my parents?
The little girl came to my succour and gave me a tender smile. She offered to come with me but I was skeptical about taking her with me. With little choice left, I took her hand and got down of the school bus. As we were walking to the confectionery shop, my face turned red. I suddenly burst into a fit of emotion and tears welled up in my eyes, refusing to come out. “Boys don’t cry”, momma had always taught me.
So we went to the shop, I bought a cake for my sister and a banana toffee for the little girl. We ate in silence, she looked pleased. But now, I could take this no more. It was time and I had to conclude my plan. I had to restore calm under the roof of the house and this had to be done. So, I told the girl that I’d be back in a moment, picked up my school bag and walked out of the shop. I walked aimlessly towards the school gate but the bus was gone. So I headed to my house. “Now they’ll leave the house forever”, I thought to myself.
I was happy. My family was going to love me and my sister like old times, we would eat together and laugh a lot like we used to. Everything would be okay. I reached home to find that everyone was restless and worried. They started inquiring about the girl as soon as I got back home. I just hung my head low in shame and disgust with my ownself.
“She’s gone, mom. You don’t have to worry about her anymore. You should tell these people to leave too.”
My mom looked at me with horror and slapped me across the face. I couldn’t help but cry, as loud as I could. Everyone stood around me, I felt like I was about to be lynched. For the fear of my dear life, I told them where I had left her.
Just then, the phone rang and a soft voice of a woman told my mother that the little girl was run over by a truck near the school. I mom fell to the ground, on her knees. She started screaming in pain and agony.
“She was your sister and she is dead. She was my daughter and she is dead now. You killed her. Murderer! Murderer!”, and my life changed forever.
I wish they had told me everything when it was time. That day, everything changed.